Keeping it Real...

iPhones... A dime a dozen?

There is a new phone on the market. It will cost you a nice chunk of change (anywhere from $150 to $250). This phone has a camera, voicemail and text messaging. It comes in a sealed black box. It has a 3.5 inch touch screen. It is shiny, black, plays slideshows, videos and mp3s. Could it be an iPhone, perhaps?

Unfortunately, I am not talking about the iPhone. The new phone I am referring to is a FAKE iPhone! The phone is an expensive (?) iPhone knockoff, and what I would consider a cheap marketing ploy. Although I have contemplated why Apple has not yet stepped in and halted the production of this product, I have come to the conclusion that since Steve Jobs took his leave of absence, they have encountered a lot of other even more pressing issues preventing them from dealing with this imitation iPhone shenanigans.

What I really don't understand is the motive any consumer has to actually buy a knock-off version of the iPhone. Buying a fake iPhone is like buying a fake designer purse. You know which ones I'm talking about - the counterfeit purses with "Burberry" labels glued on crooked to hasten the production process. The ones made with pleather rather than leather and are usually encountered in bulk quantities in semi-shady places (like in the trunk of someones car). But buying a fake iPhone is not just any knock-off purchase. It is not like buying an adorable Jackie O. inspired clutch for $60 that just happens to have a counterfeit Kate Spade label on it, no. Buying the iPhone knock-off is like buying a $200 knock-off "Coach" wallet when the real thing runs $195 at the Coach store two doors down.

There is also the sheer guilt and self-loathing that comes with purchasing a knock-off. It never feels the same to go to the market downtown and pay for what the sketchy salesman persuades you is a 'high quality' knock off of the Marc Jacobs purse you have been idolizing all season. You will always know the truth deep down inside. You will always know you didn't stop by Saks and spend an hour a day for weeks on end admiring the way the purse seems to match everything you own, until you got that paycheck you desperately needed to buy it. No, instead you made a gut decision to purchase the knock-off after a long hard day and the 'No Returns Policy' locked you into your decision.

Fake iPhone image

You never want to whip the fake out and show it off, after all, pretty much everyone else you know has the real one. The knock-off will never last as long as the real one. There are no warranties, no guarantees, nor any sort of buyers protection. The fake will never resell on eBay for nearly the same price you bought it for. The fake is nothing but a disgraced item that remains hidden from speculation, and becomes your little shameful secret with yourself. Eventually, the fakes always end up in the Goodwill pile that collects in the bottom of your closet.

So why pay $200+ for a guilt trip? Why pay for a tactless ploy to mess with your sacred emotions? Is it because you don't have AT&T? Check out celltradeusa.com. Cell Trade is a website that allows you to get rid of your cellular contract by pawning it off on someone else who actually wants your cellular plan. It saves you deactivation fees and if you decide to then switch to AT&T, it gets you a real, new 3G iPhone for just $200. If your one of those people who can't bear to part with your contract, you probably ought to just consider settling for one of the phones offered by your own carrier company. At least those phones are genuine, not made-in-china knock-offs like those sold at your local grocery store.

Besides, everyone knows (at least by now you should know) that no knock-off Louis Vuitton will ever compare to the genuine Fendi you keep next to your security blanket and cautiously guard with your life.

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posted by thewebutante at


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